Not By Sight

Spiritual ADD

2005-12-16T03:44:00.000-08:00

I don't even know where to begin. Too often I find myself wanting to work on my time table with no regard to God's. My emergency is not His emergency and my plan is pathetic when compared to His. Then, the funny part is that when God wants me to move I want to "pray about it" aka procrastinate and on the other hand I'm afraid that I've also missed blessings due to my impatience.

God sent a series of plagues to Egypt before Pharaoh would let the Israelites flee from Egypt. The Israelites experienced this miracle first hand and along the same journey they also experienced Moses parting the Red Sea and then putting it back together only to kill the Egyptian army that was after them. If that wasn't enough to prove God's faithfulness, He also sent manna and quail on a daily basis and then provided water from a rock! The entire time they were grumbling and then while Moses was atop Mount Sinai receiving the 10 commandments from the Lord the Iraelites threw everything they had seen of God's faithfulness from the journey away and basically had a party instead.

Hey God! Are you still there? You're not blessing me at the moment and I was just wondering if You forgot about me because, again, I'm not being blessed right now! . . . . . . . . . Ok, I'll do something else.

No ~ this is not the way God works. He's not an instant solution like a magic wand we can dust off after all of our attempts have failed. Too often I treat Him like the instruction manual that I was too stubborn to read until after I've lead myself into a mess that I have to figure my way out of.

5 "No one will be able to stand up against you all the days of your life. As I was with Moses, so I will be with you; I will never leave you nor forsake you.
6 "Be strong and courageous, because you will lead these people to inherit the land I swore to their forefathers to give them. 7 Be strong and very courageous. Be careful to obey all the law my servant Moses gave you; do not turn from it to the right or to the left, that you may be successful wherever you go. 8 Do not let this Book of the Law depart from your mouth; meditate on it day and night, so that you may be careful to do everything written in it. Then you will be prosperous and successful. 9 Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be terrified; do not be discouraged, for the LORD your God will be with you wherever you go."
Joshua 1:5-9

Our society emphasizes speed. We want fast food, pre-approved credit, self-check out at the grocery store, a fast lane on the high-way, instant coffee, pre-packaged meals that require only heating and eating and my little cousins have even been pre-qualified for credit cards before they even started kindergarten!!! Has moving fast gone too far? There is a reason that marketing uses the terms fast, instant and quick! It sells and it's the reality of the world we live in.

Spiritually, it makes it very hard to be patient when the rest of the world is telling us to check it off the list and move on the the next thing. Go! Go! Go! We very much live in a microwave society and God is more like a crock pot (a shout out to N8!). The truth of the matter is that Satan can use high speeds to distract us from the task at hand. Just because you haven't seen God working in a certain area in your life doesn't mean that 1) He hasn't ~ the only thing you think you know is that you haven't seen it, or 2) He hasn't yet, remember your emergency is not His emergency. Don't give up on something because you feel that the buzzer should have rung already. God's time table works differently than yours.

"But if we hope for what we do not have, we wait for it patiently." Romans 8:25

God bless in 2006 ~ Let's make it a good one!!!

Ecc 4: 9&10

2005-12-12T03:39:00.000-08:00

"Two are better than one, because they have agood return for their work: If one falls down, his friend can help him up. But pity the man who falls and has no one to help him up!" Ecc 4:9&10

Amy and I have been prayer warriors for each other since '02. While this may seem like a short time when mapped out on a calendar, at least for me, this is when my strong personal journey with the Lord truly began. Amy has been there through thick or thin and held my hand (some times my head when I cried) and I've done the same for her. Now distance separates us and although she remains in her familiar environment with a packed social calendar and a cell phone full of nearby friends I am called to a walk of life where I need to start from scratch.

For the time being I'm staying with my parents. Parents are great and part of the reason I chose this arrangement was to mend a broken relationship that was formed over a decade ago. While this may be a good and also a Godly thing to do, living with your parents as an adult has its challenges as well. Besides the obvious thoughts that may be running through your head right now ~ "Oh, I couldn't live with my mother/father" ~ one of the additional challenges that I did not expect was that of complaicency.

This once highly social butterfly and overly involved individual has now formed a nasty habbit of ducking out of church the moment the service is concluded. Sunday is a day of rest, right? We should take time to be with family and should be allowed to watch movies, eat and crash on the couch, shouldn't we? Plus, my parents have a gas powered fire place that turnes on and off by a switch on the wall. This girl who has lived in the south for nearly 4 years is having trouble adapting to the Ohio weather and this fireplace has become a very good friend and place of refuge for her.

During a message titled "Be Ready" our pastor remembered a very convicting story he read once. A man stood at his daughter's wedding weeping over lost opportunities with his daughter. His little girl was all grown up and he had just given her over to another man. She will no longer ask her daddy to take her out for ice cream, she will no longer ask for piggy back/horsey rides and she no longer wants to wrestle. She used to ask for these things but dad was too busy to take part in these time sensitive memories. The opportunity came and went and dad couldn't fit it into his busy schedule.

The parallel to Christ is that some day He will come for his bride. "You also must be ready, because the Son of Man will come at an hour when you do not expect Him." Luke 12:40

I know I sure don't want to be standing at the heavenly gates thinking about everything I could have been doing while I was sitting by my fireplace or taking a nap I really don't need. I leaned over to Amy and told her to kick my butt in to gear. I used to be so involved that friends told me to slow down and get some sleep. Now I pout because I miss my friends and the lifestyle I once used to enjoy in Dalls.

Guess what! It's not about me!!! Shocker, I know, but it's not! "For the Lord loves the just and will not forsake his faithful ones." Psalms 37:28 How faithful am I being by avoiding new people and not taking part of a church that is driven by their love for the Lord and powered by ambition?

Amy has called me out on the carpet before reminding me that God sent me to Ohio for a pretty specific purpose and the call was crystal clear yet I find myself pouting like a kid because I don't want new friends. I want my old friends back.

Amy took my request to kick my butt to an entirely new level. We went out to lunch with a group from the church (something my once social self now avoids for no good reason at all) and she actually told them what I asked her and she asked them to make sure I was getting involved and kick my butt since she wasn't there to do it.

Wow! Amy Diane! Are you kidding?!?!?!?

As much as I was embarrassed I was incrfedibly greatful. Although we cannot be side-by-side warriors right now she loves me enough to want me to have people to stand beside when she can't be there.

Love ya, Ames!

Romans 12:1-3 ~ Amplified Version

2005-11-29T04:11:00.000-08:00

Living Sacrifices

1I APPEAL to you therefore, brethren, and beg of you in view of [all] the mercies of God, to make a decisive dedication of your bodies [presenting all your members and faculties] as a living sacrifice, holy (devoted, consecrated) and well pleasing to God, which is your reasonable (rational, intelligent) service and spiritual worship.
2Do not be conformed to this world (this age), [fashioned after and adapted to its external, superficial customs], but be transformed (changed) by the [entire] renewal of your mind [by its new ideals and its new attitude], so that you may prove [for yourselves] what is the good and acceptable and perfect will of God, even the thing which is good and acceptable and perfect [in His sight for you].
3For by the grace (unmerited favor of God) given to me I warn everyone among you not to estimate and think of himself more highly than he ought [not to have an exaggerated opinion of his own importance], but to rate his ability with sober judgment, each according to the degree of faith apportioned by God to him.

I want what I want when I want it = Flesh
I want what God wants when God wants it = Spirit

God Wants You Where He Wants You

2005-11-27T10:15:00.000-08:00

Quit Wiggling! God puts us where He wants us and then we get bored and start to wiggle.

"When pride comes, then comes disgrace" Proverbs 11:2

"A man's pride brings him low, but a man of lowely spirit gains honor." Proverbs 29:23

How often do we not like our circumstances and begin justifying why they're not good enough for us? I know I'm guilty! I'll be the first to admit that I often forget that my life isn't about me. I tend to lose focus of God's plan far to often and throw myself yet another pitty party when I could be spending my time being more productive for His intensive purposes.

Pride plays a funny role in this game because some where along the line I felt pridefull enough to deserve something that God obviously had withheld from me for the time being. Why do I think I'm good enough or too good for something? Our purpose on this earth has nothing to do with being good enough. That's where grace comes in, yet just as often as I forget that I don't need to be anything but a forgiven sinner saved by grace I forget that His plan looks different for everyone.

The higher I build myself up the harder I fall and, on the flip side the lower I let myself sink the further down He has to reach to pick me back up. It's just like chasing the pesky rabbit off the trail. The further I chase that rabbit, the harder it is to find my way back.

Moral of the story: Gods path may have a few pot holes and detours along the way but as long as you continue to follow the signs you know you're heading in the right direction.

Life Defined

2005-11-23T19:01:00.000-08:00

We're only here a short time and can't pull a u-haul behind our hearse; so what are we doing with the time and money we've been blessed with?

Patience is a Virtue

2005-11-13T21:35:00.000-08:00

It wasn't all that long ago that I was sitting in a Bible study with two very dear friends of mine when a piece of paper fell out of my Bible from a year ago with a verse on it.

"But if we hope for what we do not yet have, we wait for it patiently." Rm 8:25

Interestingly enough the message during that Bible study was about going through storms and all three of us had taken pretty similar blows during the same time frame. I heard once that if you're not going through a storm or just coming out of one, hold on tight because you're being prepared for the next one! Life with the Lord is a beautiful thing but He certainly never guaranteed that we would all be lounging on clouds and living incredibly relaxed and stress-free lives. In fact, He promised exactly the opposite and the amazing thing about the Lord is that in those troubles He promised to give us peace if we trust in Him to provide. Unfortunately, in our society we have built ourselves to be a self-sustaining culture; no God necessary.

Today, I heard a guest speaker share about his call to orphans in Russia. This was the background he came from and my heart broke when he shared about the first 18 years of his life and how they were full of abuse and abandonment and lacked hope and joy. My heart broke even more when I learned that this was not an unusual situation in Russia. His childhood was a game of survival, only to last as long as he would keep fighting. At that time he didn't know the Lord and life on the streets as a kid was a scary place. Talk about going through a storm!

We are the richest society and probably the most publicly protected, yet we're selfish and thank-less. We've turned the same human energy that poor and abandoned children in Russia channel towards survival into a game of who can look better than the next and the kid with the most toys wins. The sad thing is that the entire time we're climbing (too often over others) we're whining about what we do not have.

I know I'm guilty of focusing on a goal, being impatient the entire time I work my way towards the goal. Then not too long after I've achieved my goal I become bored and restless while searching for something else in which I can find excitement. Life will bring enough of the storms and it is in between those storms that God asks us to wait patiently. He doesn't want us to bring drama upon ourselves.

Has anyone else chased a rabbit off the trail, realized it wasn't easy finding your way back and wished you would have stayed put in the first place?

The amazing thing about grace is that God loves us just as much as he loves those fighting orphans on the other side of the world. The battles are vastly different but His love is the same and even as selfish as we are, we are His desire just the same. We are His children and He promised to care for us and grant us 'the desires of our hearts if we delight ourselves in Him' Psalm 37:4. He wants our love, loyalty and service. He never required a time period of paying our dues or survival of the fittest. Most of us are privileged to live the lives that we live and perhaps it's time that we re-evaluate our circumstances and those activities we invest in. Our lives are but a vapor right? We aren't exactly fighting for our lives in this country. What are we doing with our time and how are we acting when we're going through a storm and desire to get to the other side? The amplified version reads "But if we hope for what is still unseen by us, we wait for it with patience and composure."

Would you want to give in to the kid throwing a tantrum at the grocery store?

Be a Butterfly Instead of a Robot

2005-11-02T21:11:00.000-08:00

One of the challenges of moving to a new city and a new church is finding where you fit. Tonight I visited a home group and the topic of conversation was spiritual giftings and where they can be applied among the body. As an outsider with a big mouth I had a few things to share with the group and my thoughts were welcomed. I was almost caught off guard, however, when I realized that one of the hosts was actually writing down one of my suggestions. He wasn't merely entertaining the 'visitor's' comments politely, he was intently listening and taking note of them!

As the evening progressed a couple of new topics developed; 1) the movement of God in general and 2) the growth and development of the church through the movement of God.

The Village Vineyard began as a church plant with 15 people about 3-4 years ago and they have grown to a consistent 60-70 members on Sunday mornings. Outside of numbers the church has seen a great deal of spiritual growth in a relatively short period of time. Real, true physical healing has been taking place among this body of believers and it's obvious that the Lord is among them.

A revelation fell on me that one thing this church accepted is willingness. These original 15 were willing to break apart from a larger body and move (some literally relocated) to a new location. They were willing to try different worship styles, fellowship styles, ministry styles and to subject themselves to try something that could inevitably fail miserably. They were even willing to take note of a suggestion brought to the group from an outsider who was simply visiting.

The goal is not to conform to a standard or tradition, or for someone to be the spiritual head and the others to follow. The goal is to grow the body, to put the word of God to practice and reach out to others.

God tells us that 'if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation; the old has gone and the new has come!' (2 Cor 5:17) He says 'do not conform any longer to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God's will is - His good, pleasing and perfect will.' (Rom 12:2)

In order to walk fully with Christ and hear his voice we must be willing to be a new creation. We must be willing to change from what we once knew to what the Lord wants us to know. We must be willing to lay our pride aside and hear what God is calling us to do and ultimately we must be willing to be obedient.

'Do not merely listen to the word, and so deceive yourselves. Do what it says.' James 1:22

If you always do what you always did you'll always get what you've always gotten.

Let the Lord transform you into a beautiful butterfly instead of conforming to this world like a robot going through the motions that American society calls life.

I AM an Idiot!

2005-10-28T10:53:00.000-07:00

So this past Friday I was having one of those mornings where I could have easily gotten out of the house with two different shoes and not even noticed. I instead forgot to put on my deodorant!!! Forgetting deodorant is one of those things that I'm always paranoid about but have NEVER done before. Well, after last Friday I can't say that any more. After a 30 min. drive and not even an hour at the office I left to 'run an errand' as the ladies in the office gave me the 'I understand' nod and one even gave me a wink. I drove up the street to Meijer (very similar to Super Wal-Mart to all you non-Midwesterners) and tried my darndest not to work up a sweat as I practically ran to the back of the store to the health and beauty section. I picked up some deodorant and tampons (cover) and sure enough I had to ASK someone where the Fabreeze was. It was certainly not my best day and after I checked out I headed for the ladies room where I washed, deodorized and doused my shirt and sweater in Fabreeze. Wet- pitted I headed for the car, drove through Tim Hortons (part of Wendy's), picked up a coffee for myself and one for our processor (Another form of cover) and headed back to the office. My underarms weren't quite dry but I was fresh as a daisy for the rest of the day!!!

Lesson to be learned: Get plenty of rest because you never know what kind of embarrassment you might cause yourself the next morning when you're too tired to think. Also, keep spare deodorant, gum, make-up, hair supplies, shoes, a change of clothes and an air freshening device in your car or office at all times. It's better to be safe than sorry in ANY situation.

Conviction on the way to Work

2005-10-27T05:10:00.000-07:00

Funny how God can use something like a 30min commute to speak to your heart.

I've been listening to a Charles Stanley series called Landmines of the Believer. He covers 12 'landmines' such as pride, unforgiveness, slothfulness, covetousness and fear. All spoke to me but the ones about covetousness and fear spoke the loudest. When I thought of covetousness I always thought of it in the terms of "you shall not covet your neighbor's house, wife (husband), manservant/maidservant, ox or donkey or anything that belongs to your neighbor." Ex 20:17 Charles Stanley defined it as anything that you desire so badly that it changes your thoughts and/or behaviors. Fear is the same way. God says, "So do not fear, for I am with you." Isa 41:10 but let's face it . . . .we all fear something.

Can we covet a fear? Is anyone else so afraid of something that they become consumed and begin altering tiny aspects of their lives because they are afraid of something? Afraid of failure? Afraid of success? Afraid of being alone? Afraid of embarrassment?

My point? Tylenol when you have a headache can make the pain go away but too much Tylenol can kill you. Even Godly desires and fears, when in excess can be harmful. Repent immediately; ask for prayer from accountability, fast, pray whatever you have to do to shake it. Do it!

"But your iniquities have separated you from your God; your sins have hidden His face from you, so that He will not hear." Isa 59:2

"Yet He was merciful; He forgave their iniquities and did not destroy them. Time after time He restrained His anger and did not stir up His full wrath."

"There will be showers of blessing" ~ Ezk 34:26

2005-10-22T09:37:00.000-07:00

Once at Oak Cliff Bible I heard the pastor Tony Evans say "It may take a while until God moves but when He moves, He moves!" I'm beginning to see this happen in the blessings that the Lord has given to me since I've been home.

My first weekend here was rough. I missed my friends, lifestyle and the weather in Dallas during several tearful days and nights. Thank God for the prayer warriors (Eph 4:9-12) who lifted me up, as my pity party was short lived.

"Because of the Lord's great love we are not consumed, for His compassions never fail. They are new every morning." ~ Lamentations 2:23 & 24a

Day one in the Columbus office where I'd heard horror story after horror story from the Dallas office I learned first and foremost that it wasn't as bad as I'd heard it would be. Different, yes. Unbearable, no. While meeting my co-workers I learned that one man actually used to work for my grandfather in Zanesville at First National Bank, now Unizan Bank and soon to be Huntington. My dad's dad's funeral was on my 12th birthday so I never knew him all that well but anyone who knew my grandfather has spoken very highly of him. It is partially because of the things I've learned about my grandfather as I've grown up that has given me the burden of integrity, honesty and respect. At his funeral my mom presented my dad, his brother and their mother with a plaque with Proverbs 22:1 on it "A great name is more desirable than great riches" Waltman. Rick, my co-worker, had fond memories and similar testimonies to say about my grandfather. It turns out that he even ran into my grandparents and their grandchildren (me and my brother) at the county fair long enough ago that I don't remember but he won each of Ralph’s grandchildren a stuffed animal. Now, that little girl he knew as Ralph Waltman's granddaughter is grown up and a co-worker of his.

The environment of my office is a challenge as it is very much the lifestyle that I walked in before I moved to Dallas. One of my biggest fears in moving away from my spiritual safety net of the Dallas Fort Worth MetroPlex and my Christian circle of friends was that I would backslide. Having a constant reminder of a man that I respect more than almost anyone I've ever known is a check-and-balance system that I could never have imagined on my own. The morning after we went out for dinner as a team and I'd excused myself before the group headed out for drinks Rick mentioned my grandfather always saying "remember, you represent the bank even when you're not at the bank." The bank held events where alcohol was served and Rick said he can't remember my grandfather not drinking but he also couldn't remember ever seeing him with a drink in his hand either.

God has allowed me the boldness to post my scripture versus in my cube and when asked where I went after I left dinner that night to say that I went to Bible study. He's allowed me the privilege of becoming friends with each co-worker yet keep to my convictions. I'm beginning to have small opportunities to share about my walk without getting up on a soapbox. Overall I see that I'm earning my right to speak from co-workers who know my stance, but don't see me as someone who's just waiting to point a finger. I haven't even been there for a full month yet!!!

Financially, God has blessed me as well. During my final months in Dallas I wasn't going to one church consistently. At Fellowship I set up automatic bill pay for my tithe but when I was going to more than one church I wasn't as faithful in paying a timely tithe. When figuring my expenses for moving I realized how much I still had to pay out in tithe and then when paired up next to the amount I would need to pay to break a lease, move across the country and how much I wanted to have in the bank for future plans I was tempted to 'just catch up later.' In obedience, and also while biting my lip, I divided the tithe that I owed and wrote checks to several Godly causes including a church in Columbus that I've been attending and a mission trip that my dad's church supports. After a week in the Columbus office I learned that while the pay structure is similar to the one I had been accustomed to in the Dallas office the payout percentages are higher per loan in Columbus. I also realized, after meeting personally with our Senior Vice President, that I had met the requirements during the months of June, July and August for a promotion to Senior Loan Officer. Again, a financial blessing as the Columbus office pays their Sr. LO's a higher base in addition to an even higher payout percentage per loan than regular loan officers.

"Bring the whole tithe into the storehouse, that there may be food in my house. Test me in this, says the Lord Almighty, and see if will not throw open the floodgates of heaven and pour out so much blessing that you will not have room enough for it." ~ Malachi 3:10

Still love and miss you all

Jen

Y'all Thought I was Kiddin' II

2005-10-18T20:07:00.000-07:00

OK, So all the pictures didn't fit on the first Blog so here are some others to give you an idea of how obsessive we are here in columbus. Next time I promise to publish a blog more specifically to what God's doing in my life.

Love and miss you all!!!!

Jen

Scarlet and Gray Ohio States official school colors since 1878, Scarlet and Gray were chosen by a group of three students in a lecture room in University Hall because it was a pleasing combination. And had not been adopted by any other college, noted selection committee member Alice Townshend Wing.

The following three pictures are taken of the interior of a McDonalds CLOSE to campus.

This isn't even one of the McDonalds ON campus but with the game playing they're bound to sell some burgers and fries on game days.

Check out the Big Screen under the Scarlet & Gray O!!

Recognized Buckeyes

-Carole Black, President and CEO of Lifetime Entertainment

-Harry Drackett, chemist who developed Windex

-Patricia Heaton, actress (Everybody Loves Raymond

-Clark Kellogg, CBS Sports

-Jack Nicklaus, Professional Golfer

-Roy Plunkett, chemist and inventor of Teflon

-James Rhodes, former governor of Ohio (Deceased) ***I cared for him when I worked in a retirement home in high school***

-Les Wexner, The Limited, Inc

Honest to goodness this IS an OSU soap dispenser in the ladies room of the OSU stadium. I can't explain it; I just photographed it.

I told you we're crazy!!!

The Michigan Game, The annual Ohio State-Michigan football game was No. 1 on a list of the 10 Greatest Rivalries In Sports compiled by the editorial staff at ESPN.com in 1999. There simply is no greater rivalry in college athletics.

Y'all Thought I was Kiddin' I

2005-10-18T18:49:00.000-07:00

Good afternoon folks!!!

Well it's taken me long enough to get settled and figure this whole blog thing out. Don't think that Amy hasn't been harassing me daily about it.

I want to thank everyone for the continued prayers. The Lord has blessed my journey already and I'm excited to share but before I get into detail I have to educate all you Texans and Non-Buckeyes about the love (aka obsession) for the Ohio State Buckeyes. I went to the OSU vs Michigan State game with Lynette this weekend and have attached some pictures for educational purposes.

Enjoy!

The first three pictures are tailgating outside of the stadium. Notice the sea of red, multiple flying flags and tons of people gearing up for the game.

Some history of Buckeye Football:

-This is the same Horseshoe (remodeled) where the Buckeyes have battled since 1922.

-The shoe has one of the nation's largest collegiate press boxes, where over 400 media personnel and staff are seated for games.

- For those wealthier alumni and fans the Huntington Club level has 81 suites where they can view the field.

-Don't forget the $1.5 million Steinbrenner Band Center, home to the "Best Damn Band in the Land"

Yes, this man decorated his car!

Brutus BuckeyeOne of the more visible symbols of Ohio State athletics is Brutus Buckeye, the schools mascot. In 1965, an art student designed and introduced the first Brutus, while the name was chosen in a contest. The mascot began as a hardened papier mache affair that looked like a bowling ball with legs. In 1975, a radical new Brutus was designed with a prune-like head and a mans body. That attempt was booed off the field and was re-worked, giving way to a mascot comparable to the beloved present-day Brutus.

The original choices for Ohio States mascot included a ram, an elk, a moose and the leading candidate, a male deer. Due to the skittish nature of deer, the idea of a mascot was tabled until January 1941 when Chris, a German police dog owned by an assistant cheerleader, made an appearance at a basketball game. The dogs career was short-lived and OSU remained without an official mascot until the 1960s.

All info was found on
http://ohiostatebuckeyes.collegesports.com/